Saturday, May 3, 2008
well, after reading amy's post below and sk's posts at his blog, i would like to share this mini story of mine that happened some time ago...
i still remember that ppl would ask why i took Os in a priv sch, how come i retain sec 3, whenever new friends ask me how come i'm like one year older (especially during poly orientation etc.)
the reason is, i had a time, or a phase where i was really down, and to think back, i seriously think i was suffering from depression. but whatever triggered that in the past; come to think of it now, they're all but small matters, and they make me a stronger person and seen another perspective.
the story goes is, during my sec 3 yr at crescent, i wasn't doing well, firstly i did not get in the class i wanted, secondly, i feel that i don't have any friends at all, like close friends or good friends i can talk to. and u know how life likes to rub salt on ur wound, i landed in hospital due to pneumonia in my lung. my parents at that time was not very supportive, and i dun really talk to them. coz it just feels that they aren't listening, and so i stopped trying to communicate. furthermore, being a perfectionist, i feel that i was failing in life; i wasn't doing well in school, and my dad just had a way to make me feel guilty of the medical bills i choked up during my hospital stay.
and so, i began to try to escape from reality. i dun go sch regularly like i should, i will just tell my mum that i'm sick and take mc. it began a habit, and depression kicked in. in the end, i stopped going to sch altogether. i had symptoms like having suicidal thoughts, feeling like crying all the time, and all those negative thoughts that u can imagine. without proper help, my illness just worsen further.
anyway to cut it short, i simply stayed at home and 'rotted' for about a yr plus? i can't remember how i walk out of it though, but i'm glad that i did. so, i realised i nid to put my life back together after a yr of rotting and enrol to YMCA , sit for Os as a private candidate, and my life kinda returned 'normal' again.
i seldom share this story with people, coz i simply dun want to talk about it and dun want to be reminded of it. but still, i'm thankful that after this phase, i became a stronger person, and i vowed never to let myself dwell in that 'bottomless pit' again.
so my dear friends out there, be strong, i know it's hard to stay positive being stuck in a rut. but trust me, u guys are strong, and we can all do it. =)
and to sum up amy's and my words, escape is not the solution.
pF.
i still remember that ppl would ask why i took Os in a priv sch, how come i retain sec 3, whenever new friends ask me how come i'm like one year older (especially during poly orientation etc.)
the reason is, i had a time, or a phase where i was really down, and to think back, i seriously think i was suffering from depression. but whatever triggered that in the past; come to think of it now, they're all but small matters, and they make me a stronger person and seen another perspective.
the story goes is, during my sec 3 yr at crescent, i wasn't doing well, firstly i did not get in the class i wanted, secondly, i feel that i don't have any friends at all, like close friends or good friends i can talk to. and u know how life likes to rub salt on ur wound, i landed in hospital due to pneumonia in my lung. my parents at that time was not very supportive, and i dun really talk to them. coz it just feels that they aren't listening, and so i stopped trying to communicate. furthermore, being a perfectionist, i feel that i was failing in life; i wasn't doing well in school, and my dad just had a way to make me feel guilty of the medical bills i choked up during my hospital stay.
and so, i began to try to escape from reality. i dun go sch regularly like i should, i will just tell my mum that i'm sick and take mc. it began a habit, and depression kicked in. in the end, i stopped going to sch altogether. i had symptoms like having suicidal thoughts, feeling like crying all the time, and all those negative thoughts that u can imagine. without proper help, my illness just worsen further.
anyway to cut it short, i simply stayed at home and 'rotted' for about a yr plus? i can't remember how i walk out of it though, but i'm glad that i did. so, i realised i nid to put my life back together after a yr of rotting and enrol to YMCA , sit for Os as a private candidate, and my life kinda returned 'normal' again.
i seldom share this story with people, coz i simply dun want to talk about it and dun want to be reminded of it. but still, i'm thankful that after this phase, i became a stronger person, and i vowed never to let myself dwell in that 'bottomless pit' again.
so my dear friends out there, be strong, i know it's hard to stay positive being stuck in a rut. but trust me, u guys are strong, and we can all do it. =)
and to sum up amy's and my words, escape is not the solution.
pF.
i hugged you at 5/03/2008 10:20:00 PM;Y